Wednesday, November 28, 2018

Dear Mom #5

Mom,

Since I didn't get out of bed a few days last week, my wellness coach wants me to journal ten minutes a day. I think she's hoping this will 1) inspire me to stay awake (it's not working I'm exhausted and my head is killing me.) and 2) make me quit eating non-stop. Yeah, so far that hasn't happened either.
Food is the only thing good in the world. What's her problem anyway?
We decided journaling would help me on Friday. This is Wednesday and it's the first time I'm doing it. #Whatever.
I wish I could talk to you about my real problems, but I can't. Because this is the internet and people would see it and that would only cause more problems.
I applied for a job planning birthday parties for foster kids. I'm going to get it, because it's perfect for me. It's 9:30-2:30 with two days of working from home. I will still drop ELF off at school everyday and pick her up on Mondays and Fridays. Tues-Thurs she will ride home with a friend. The friend's mom will transport both kids to her daughter's Tai-Kwan-Do class, and I will pick ELF up from Tai-Kwan-Do and take her to dance. *Shrugs* It works. I'm not paying for child care, she's never in day care, and both girls are excited about it.
I love planning parties and buying gifts, and this seems like a fun way to spend the day and be off after school is out. I need this right now.
I wish you were here and I could talk to you.
Everyone keeps telling me you're in a better place, but I'm not even sure I believe in heaven anymore. Or maybe I do, I still pray. Who knows?
Love,
Jeni

1 comment:

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