Alex J. Cauvenaugh.
As writers we're always in the face of uncertainty, and that does something to your nerves. I'm not even sure insecure is the right word, maybe the feeling that comes with uncertainty is just nervousness, but I have a lot of it right now.
I've sent ten queries of my YA contemporary romance. More than half of my queries are still out, and I've already got a full request, but we all know a request doesn't mean anything and with all those queries still out, I can't help but wonder what those letters will say. And at the risk of sounding ridiculous, I kind of expected five immediate requests with this manuscript. I know. I know. Don't we all. Hey, in 2011, I once got a rejection letter within seconds of sending the query. At least, I've surpassed that right?
I've applied to a couple of MFA programs and well vetted schools. I expect I'll be accepted to at least one, just because I sought out inexpensive low residency programs that would allow me to write YA and/or romance. It's not so much that I think I'm a great writer or a genius, it's more that I found schools I feel I'm a good match for. Still, it's another chance for a rejection. LOL. And more than that, this is my last week at my part time job as my position was eliminated. I'd planned to work through school to pay the tuition, because I already owe the government more money than I will ever make from undergrad. (It's a hard part time job to replace, because I did it from home taking care of my six month old). I'm attempting to look for scholarships, and I have plenty of time before school starts. But so far, I haven't found any to apply for.
I know that all this stuff is manageable, and it's stuff that most writers will face. But in the face of so much uncertainty, it's hard not to be nervous.