As writers we're always in the face of uncertainty, and that does something to your nerves. I'm not even sure insecure is the right word, maybe the feeling that comes with uncertainty is just nervousness, but I have a lot of it right now.
I've sent ten queries of my YA contemporary romance. More than half of my queries are still out, and I've already got a full request, but we all know a request doesn't mean anything and with all those queries still out, I can't help but wonder what those letters will say. And at the risk of sounding ridiculous, I kind of expected five immediate requests with this manuscript. I know. I know. Don't we all. Hey, in 2011, I once got a rejection letter within seconds of sending the query. At least, I've surpassed that right?
I've applied to a couple of MFA programs and well vetted schools. I expect I'll be accepted to at least one, just because I sought out inexpensive low residency programs that would allow me to write YA and/or romance. It's not so much that I think I'm a great writer or a genius, it's more that I found schools I feel I'm a good match for. Still, it's another chance for a rejection. LOL. And more than that, this is my last week at my part time job as my position was eliminated. I'd planned to work through school to pay the tuition, because I already owe the government more money than I will ever make from undergrad. (It's a hard part time job to replace, because I did it from home taking care of my six month old). I'm attempting to look for scholarships, and I have plenty of time before school starts. But so far, I haven't found any to apply for.
I know that all this stuff is manageable, and it's stuff that most writers will face. But in the face of so much uncertainty, it's hard not to be nervous.
Here's to getting into your MFA program, Beth. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteYou must be really good a query letters!
ReplyDeleteNervous is ok, and even helpful. Nervous wreck is not.
Lauren
Oh gosh, I don't blame you at all. I would be nervous too! I hope you get into the schools you want.
ReplyDeleteWow, you are going to be one busy woman, Beth!
ReplyDeleteBeth,
ReplyDelete"At the risk of sounding ridiculous" I think this will be the new title of my next blog... love this line. Think of all the people that never even try to get rejected. Those who sit home criticizing those who do... You are taking huge risks and putting yourself out there...but this is the real risk, the risk of rejection, and you'll get it almost every time... I know from experience (I've applied to more grad programs and sent so many articles, etc. with ne'er a reply). But then, there's that one time, and that's all it takes. Believe in yourself and what you're doing. And keep fighting and writing. You're good. The world needs your voice.
-Kim (IWSG)