In Need of a New Goal

The Big Dreams Blogfest is hosted by myself and Misha Gericke. On the last Friday of every month we come together to discuss our progress.

When I started this bloghop, my goal was to make a million dollars writing. At the time, this seem hard but doable. Time went on. Life happened. Things changed. It no longer seemed possible. Like any good author I revised. My new goal was to sell 500 ebooks/month. I wasn't sure if this was possible. But everyone needs a goal. Time went on. Life happened. Things changed. It didn't seem possible. My new goal was to make $1500/month consistently. Yeah. You guessed it. Doesn't seem possible. At this point, I think my goal is to determine what my goal is. I have no idea how to even go about this.

I don't think I accomplished much in September and yet I want to say I accomplished more than I did in August. However, I went back to look at last month's post and quickly realized why it doesn't seem I accomplished much this month. I set no goals!

But here are a few things I did do.

1. Lost 10 pounds. This is a huge deal for me.
2. Went off candy. Finally.
3. Blogged more than once!
4. Sent a query letter for the first time in years.
5. Worked on revision of thesis--(Learned about revision)

Goals for October

1. Lose 10 lbs.
2. Stay off carbs
3. Write 3,000 words
4. Figure out what to put in a newsletter and start writing one.

How are your goals coming? What are your goals for October? Anyone have suggestions for a newsletter?

DIY MFA Review: Who Asked You

"Kaleidoscopic, fast-paced, and filled with McMillan’s inimitable humor, Who Asked You? opens as Trinetta leaves her two young sons with her mother, Betty Jean, and promptly disappears. BJ, a trademark McMillan heroine, already has her hands full dealing with her other adult children, two opinionated sisters, an ill husband, and her own postponed dreams—all while holding down a job delivering room service at a hotel. Her son Dexter is about to be paroled from prison; Quentin, the family success, can’t be bothered to lend a hand; and taking care of two lively grandsons is the last thing BJ thinks she needs. The drama unfolds through the perspectives of a rotating cast of characters, pitch-perfect, each playing a part, and full of surprises."

Congratulations to Terry McMillan for creating a deep and rich depiction of recent American history. Who Asked You is a complex exploration of racism both directed at and from the African American community.
Now that we've established what this book is and let's establish what it's not. It's not a pleasure read. The subject matter is deep and dark from a nurse who sexually abuses her disabled patients to drug addiction. The book is fiction but reads like non-fiction. (So if you like non-fiction it may be a pleasure read). And if you're looking for romance, you're in the wrong place. This book is not marketed as a romance, but since this is "romance world" I feel like I have to be clear.
This is not my usual read. I read it for my Romance & Women's Fiction Class. Still at about half way through I would have finished it anyway because of the characters. Each one was fully developed and somewhat unique. A LOT of characters had povs which made the narrative hard to follow--and made it read more like non-fiction--but to have that many pov characters and have them read authentic is an impressive feat for any writer.
The only thing I really didn't like about the book was Nurse Kim. In her first POV section she graphically describes a sexual encounter with a man who though doesn't seem to object couldn't legally consent. He's also married and the relationship is inappropriate since she's his nurse. I do not like graphic sex scenes. But I REALLY do not like graphic sex scenes involving non-consenting, disabled old men. #Gross. The bigger problem with this scene is that it serves no purpose. It never comes up again. When Mister gets eczma and has to see a doctor I thought for sure he had herpes and Nurse Kim was going to get caught. Nah. Just eczma. It really never comes up again, and Nurse Kim is otherwise a likable character. But I was never comfortable with her and dreaded her sections for the rest of the book, because of that one scene that didn't add anything.

Thoughts on Marrying Winterborne

"A ruthless tycoon
Savage ambition has brought common-born Rhys Winterborne vast wealth and success. In business and beyond, Rhys gets exactly what he wants. And from the moment he meets the shy, aristocratic Lady Helen Ravenel, he is determined to possess her. If he must take her virtue to ensure she marries him, so much the better…
A sheltered beauty
Helen has had little contact with the glittering, cynical world of London society. Yet Rhys’s determined seduction awakens an intense mutual passion. Helen’s gentle upbringing belies a stubborn conviction that only she can tame her unruly husband. As Rhys’s enemies conspire against them, Helen must trust him with her darkest secret. The risks are unthinkable… the reward, a lifetime of incomparable bliss. And it all begins with…
Marrying Mr. Winterborne"

Wow. Just wow. Okay. I can breathe now. So this is not clean romance. My clean romance fans, I apologize. But wow. I loved it. I didn't expect to and I would have liked to see fewer and less graphic sex scenes, but the romantic tension was exquisite. Rhys would do anything for Helen and she loved him as much. I usually prefer sweeter romances because in mainstream romance the sex usually becomes the action and there is less focus on the romance. I think the sex and the romance got equal play here (and as I've said for my tastes that wasn't neccessary) but it did nothing to take away from the romance and in a way added to it.
Helen discovers she is the daughter of Rhys's biggest enemy and is advised that it would hurt him to know. Still, she doesn't want to keep a secret/lie to him. And then she learns she has a little sister which she can't expect Rhys to care for. So she plans to go away alone and raise her younger sister. Rhys is a good man, and given his birth to a poor Welsh family and the way people look down on him in spite of him being self made and rich, I thought concerns of his thoughts on her birth were overplayed. And Rhys did not let me down!
It's not my typical book, but I picked up the first in the series today.

Thoughts on Windchime Point

"When life gets complicated, New York Times bestselling author Sherryl Woods proves family—and love—can make all the difference
Facing a personal crisis, ambitious and driven Gabriella Castle retreats to the welcoming arms of her family. Everything she's worked for has been yanked out from under her, and she seeks the serenity of her grandmother's home on the North Carolina coast. With difficult decisions to make about her future, the last thing she wants is an unexpected love.
Wade Johnson fell for Gabi the first time he saw her. It's not the only time he's found himself in the role of knight in shining armor, but Gabi isn't looking for a rescuer. To get her to stay, Wade will need a whole lot of patience and gentle persuasion…and maybe the soothing sound of wind chimes on a summer breeze."
This was a cute book as you can probably tell from the synopsis. Gabi has been working in a demanding profession and after losing a job she heads back to the small town her grandmother lives in to do something thinking.
But I had a hard time believing a person as smart and driven as Gabi would not sue for being demoted due to being pregnant and unmarried. And say she didn't want to sue, her personal relationship is none of her employer's business. Why not just start wearing a ring? Duh. I found this whole premise completely unrealistic. I actually went back and checked the copyright date thinking maybe this was written in the early 90s. This was a lack of research. That being said the book was cute with strong familial relationships in addition to the romance. And Wade seems to have a thing for pregnant women making for good romantic tension. The book also has a plot line of Gabi trying ot determine who she is and how she will navigate the world which I thought was interesting. This is a solid 3 stars, but I did this as an audio book at work. Given the problems with the premise I'm not sure I would have read the whole thing. Still I loved Cora Jane (Gabi's grandmother) and her sisters, so I picked up the first book in the series on audio today.

Thoughts on the Lightkeeper

"When his pregnant wife dies in a shipwreck, Jesse Morgan gives up his wealth and place in Seattle society. He relegates himself to a tiny community where he dedicates his life to protecting others from the ocean. As keeper of a remote lighthouse along a dangerous coast in the Pacific Northwest, Jesse rejects all social contact so that he can brood about his loss. When the sea tosses up a beautiful pregnant woman, the lone survivor of another shipwreck, Jesse finds he has a second chance at life and love.
Mary Dare is an outspoken Irish woman who takes poverty, single motherhood, and death in stride. She brings vitality, passion, and joy to Jesse's life and forces him to face his guilt and unhappiness. Mary's honesty and compassion transform Jesse, and together they find beauty in a simple life."

The best thing about this story has the be the setting. It is another character in the book and adds to the conflict. (At this point, I think the Pacific Northwest must be amazing because one of the few other books I've said this about is Twilight also set in Washington state.) The other strength of this book is the complexity of some of the supporting characters. I loved the Icelandic couple and how Wiggs used them to weave folklore into the story to foreshadow the plot. I also loved the old lady who set up a house for struggling strangers. And it was a sweeter romance.
But you know my thoughts on books are rarely one sided, so I have to get to what didn't work. Everything else. Jesse is just not the kind of hero I can fall in love. And there were moments when I couldn't blame him, because Mary was that annoying. He found her on the beach, saved her life, and let her stay in his house. And she acts like she owns the place. She has certain expectations of him and their relationship (something that only exists because he saved her from death) which she has no qualms making clear. It comes across like "You saved me, now you have to marry me." WTF. Really. For a moment, I actually hoped she would die in childbirth. I thought taking care of a baby would give Jesse what he needed and I didn't like Mary.

Thoughts on A Brother's Honor

"The Granger brothers left behind their family's Virginia estate and the bad memories it holds 151 years ago. But their dying grandfather's request brings them home: to a failing business, a legacy of secrets and a deathbed promise to make things right.
As the eldest brother, attorney Jace Granger is determined to take responsibility for Granger Aeronautics, his family's failing business. But the years of mismanagement seem impossible to untangle. As CEO, he hires a consultant to turn the company around. Smart, sexy Shana Bradford is the right person for the job and the right woman to turn Jace's world upside down.
But the passion between them is jeopardized when old secrets begin to emerge. A woman from Jace's past suddenly reappears. And an explosive discovery changes everything Jace thinks he knows about his mother and his father, who was convicted of her murder.
Jace Granger tried to leave his family history behind once before. But this time he needs to face the past or risk losing his future.
Three brothers. One legacy. A lifetime of secrets."

What I liked
I liked the relationship between the brother's and how each Granger brother seemed unique.
I also liked the relationship between Shana and her sister, although I thought the relationship between the girls and their dad felt forced.

What I didn't like
Define romance. If we're talking emotion this never hit the mark. If we're talking pure physical attraction--which I would define as lust--this fit the bill. Until the last 15% of the book the attraction between Jace and Shana can be defined as lust then after they've been sleeping together they decided they're in love with each other, but neither will admit it. And while we're on this while I pointed out that each brother was unique, every man in the book seemed to have a fettish for legs. I have no idea why but this annoyed me. And Jace's ex-wife was over the top. But I think my biggest problem with this book is that most of the book seems to be pointing to uncovering who murdered their mother so that the Granger Brothers' dad would get out of prison. This never happened.

Thoughts on When Beauty Tamed the Beast

We're calling this "Thoughts on..." because as I mentioned in my last post, authors aren't allowed to book reviews anymore. And hopefully Beth is #SmarterThanAnAlogorythm.

"Miss Linnet Berry Thrynne is a Beauty . . . Naturally, she's betrothed to a Beast.
Piers Yelverton, Earl of Marchant, lives in a castle in Wales where, it is rumored, his bad temper flays everyone he crosses. And rumor also has it that a wound has left the earl immune to the charms of any woman.
Linnet is not just any woman.
She is more than merely lovely: her wit and charm brought a prince to his knees. She estimates the earl will fall madly in love—in just two weeks.
Yet Linnet has no idea of the danger posed to her own heart by a man who may never love her in return.
If she decides to be very wicked indeed . . . what price will she pay for taming his wild heart?"
This is my favorite Eloisa James book ever! This is not clean romance but it still had an incredibly sweet feel to it. I finished the book and wanted to read it again.
My favorite line "I didn't fall in love for looks, unlike you."

IWSG

As usual I have no time for anything. I should not even be writing this. Whatever.
I freaked out and thought last Wednesday was this the first Wednesday of the month, so if you want to know what I'm insecure about this month, you can find that here and here.

Loss...

Almost seven years ago, I had a dream. I set out to write a book that could replace Twilight. The saga had ended. My book boyfriend was gone. The lady who wrote Twilight wanted to go to law school, and I did go to law school. If she could do it, I could to.
I understood it wouldn't be easy but like my husband tells me every day I'm stubborn. I started a blog to improve my writing and set out on a journey. (The blog did improve my writing. If you doubt that go read some of my earlier posts.)
I had some incredible years. I blogged 52 books in a year twice and loved it. Book stores offered me wine and sent me boxes of ARCs. I was on a first name basis with more YA bestsellers than i could count. And then there were rough times. A book I still love got 105 rejections. What I thought would be my break out novel wasn't. Each time I'd get up and write another book. Some disappointments led to a stronger MC and better writing. And some read like literary fiction where nothing really changed. But I survived.
And I lost some things in the process without even realizing it.
Those 52 books in a year twice? I learned so much from that. I was notorious for honest reviews with some friends asking me for reviews because a 3 from me was like a 5 everywhere else and everyone knew it. But agents and editors don't always like honest reviews from a tough critic. It was one of the first things to go, and it was something I loved. I connected to so many people through those reviews.
I gave writing advice often labeled something to the effect of "Unconventional Wisdom." There really wasn't anything unconventional about it. I said things that I think lots of writers have thought to themselves. And friends had even asked me about. But I said things that in a rocky industry you don't always say aloud.
Through it all the only constant in publishing remained the same: CHANGE. Now writing a review risks more than hard feelings. Amazon might come behind you and delete your author account. And where are books actually sold?
So because I became an author people in the book industry think I'm not entitled to an opinion even on a product I've spent money on like any other customer. And with the advent of self publishing "people in the book industry" is like every third American. Amazon will make sure I don't get an opinion. The average author sells less than 5 books a month--I'm not making this up. That is a generous estimate coming from a digital book insider--and let's face it. Traditional publishers are having some problems now.
Some loss in life you have to accept. Relationships end. People die. You put one foot in front of the other and move on. And some things you don't have to accept. Playing by the rules has led to the frustration and a desperate yearning for my old day job. I will write reviews. I will write positve reviews, negative reviews and mildly neutral reviews. If Amazon deletes my account? So what? If I ever manage to execute a book on paper the way it sounds in my head, they'll give it back and probably attempt to buy my rights through their traditional publishing arm. I will give unconventional wisdom, because I've come to realize I started writing to make me happy. As far as the book industry is concerned I care about two things: 1) the quality of the art that ends up in my Kindle cart. (I never return already read books. Even REALLY bad ones). 2) Helping people who have helped me more than once.
But here is the truth. Those of you who have been with me since the beginning probably guess most of this from my sporadic posting over the past couple of years.
Beth is back.
How has your journey been?

IWSG: Breaking Up

The Insecure Writers Support Group is sponsored by alex J Cauvenaugh who has probably culled me from his last as I am two days late with this post. ISwg is a time for us to come together and be open about our writerly woes.
Woe #1: Im writing this post from my phone as I wait to go do physical labor for a day job that is supposed to be no part physical.  Thus the lack of time lately and being two days late with the post.
Woe 2: My current day job allows for no writing time. A point probably made obvios by woe 1.
And woe 3 I shall save for another post. It probably deserves more eloquence than I have the mental capacity for right now.