IWSG Uncertainty

Insecure Writer's Support Group is hosted by Alex J. Cauvenaugh.

As writers we're always in the face of uncertainty, and that does something to your nerves. I'm not even sure insecure is the right word, maybe the feeling that comes with uncertainty is just nervousness, but I have a lot of it right now.

I've sent ten queries of my YA contemporary romance. More than half of my queries are still out, and I've already got a full request, but we all know a request doesn't mean anything and with all those queries still out, I can't help but wonder what those letters will say. And at the risk of sounding ridiculous, I kind of expected five immediate requests with this manuscript. I know. I know. Don't we all. Hey, in 2011, I once got a rejection letter within seconds of sending the query. At least, I've surpassed that right?

I've applied to a couple of MFA programs and well vetted schools. I expect I'll be accepted to at least one, just because I sought out inexpensive low residency programs that would allow me to write YA and/or romance. It's not so much that I think I'm a great writer or a genius, it's more that I found schools I feel I'm a good match for. Still, it's another chance for a rejection. LOL. And more than that, this is my last week at my part time job as my position was eliminated. I'd planned to work through school to pay the tuition, because I already owe the government more money than I will ever make from undergrad. (It's a hard part time job to replace, because I did it from home taking care of my six month old). I'm attempting to look for scholarships, and I have plenty of time before school starts. But so far, I haven't found any to apply for.

I know that all this stuff is manageable, and it's stuff that most writers will face. But in the face of so much uncertainty, it's hard not to be nervous.

Book 43 Lindy's Diary

See the #1 New York Times bestselling story Beastly through Lindy's eyes! This is her diary, kept while living in captivity with the beast. Lindy's Diary captures all the romance and edgy mystery of the original!

I loved Beastly so much I had to read Lindy's Diary. I enjoyed getting to know Lindy more. In fact, there was a line about how she knew it wasn't politically correct and women should rescue themselves, but she wanted a hero. She wanted to be rescued, and she didn't want a guy that needed her. And I thought wow I love Lindy! There did seem to be  some inconsistencies between Lindy's version of events and Adrian's, but other than that I love Lindy's Diary too. I'm not sure I'll read Bewitching, because I don't see any mention of romance. But these were great.

Book 42 Beastly

"I am a beast.

A beast. Not quite wolf or bear, gorilla or dog but a horrible new creature who walks upright--a creature with fangs and claws and hair springing from every pore. I am a monster.

You think I'm talking fairy tales? No way. The place is New York City. The time is now. It's no deformity, no disease. And I'll stay this way forever--ruined--unless I can break the spell.

Yes, the spell, the one the witch in my English class cast on me. Why did she turn me into a beast who hides by day and prowls by night? I'll tell you. I'll tell you how I used to be Kyle Kingsbury, the guy you wished you were, with money, perfect looks, and the perfect life. And then, I'll tell you how I became perfectly . . . beastly."

You guessed it. This is a retelling of Beauty & The Beast. And it's my absolute favorite fairytale retelling ever! I heart beastly. It's such a cute story. I think the romance develops in a very mature and adult way, but the teens are still true teens. I loved it, and I think it meets every element of the traditional Beauty and The Beast story exactly.  Five stars, and that's rare around here.

Goals #2

Update on November's Goals
1. Finish editing A Missing Peace. Done.
2. Write 10 book reviews I wrote 8 (2 haven't been posted yet).
3. Complete my grad school applications Completed one
4. Write Dhamir This did not happen
5. Lose 4 lbs. Done.
6. Work out twice a week  This happened some weeks but not others.
7. Start girl with the dead sister novel This did not happen.

December's Goals
1. Send remaining grad application Done 12/5
2. Write 9 book reviews. (In other words complete P-52)!!!
3. Lose 4 lbs.
4. Write proposal to teach online class
5. Write Demir
6. Work out 3 times/week.
7. Check into costs of blog tours
8. Drink 6 cups of water/day

What are your goals this month?

Follow Friday

Follow Friday is hosted by Alison and Parajunkee.

Q: Activity! Who is your to-die-for book crush? What do you think they look like? Add an image to make us all happy.

And that's an easy answer. 

Ready To Talk

First of all, I want to say thank you for every one who commented or emailed me after reading my last post. Things are already looking better, so I'm ready to talk now. I said that I was upset about things that didn't matter and that wasn't completely true. While the things I was upset about weren't huge, they were small either. I got laid off my part time job the week before Thanksgiving. I totally understand the situation and the decision my employer had to make, but I was still sad. It's true lately I've wished I didn't have a job, because taking care of my little ELF takes A LOT of time. Still, I planned to keep working, because the check was helping with the med bills from delivery and padding our savings.  Now, I'm hoping to teach an online writing/blogging course. Actually, I registered for a class on teaching an online workshop months ago. I just hoped to have my day job, until I was selected for one. I'm sure the competition is steep, but now I'm looking at this as an opportunity, and because I have some ideas for some things that helped me that I would like to share, I may even teach the classes from my own website.

The other thing which may sound trivial is the major dental work I'm in the midst of. I've got seventeen cavities almost to the bone. I may need a root canal and I'm getting four wisdom teeth cut out that should have been done a decade ago. I can't have any sugar or splenda until the whole process is complete, because my teeth are in such bad shape. I know that this is a minor problem compared to things other people face, but geez it has been a loooong holiday season!

Still, I'm feeling better. I appreciate all the support, and my only reason for sharing this is so you know that I wasn't just being a superficial b**** in my last post.

You guys are awesome!!! Thanks again.

A Hard Post To Write

A couple of years ago, I posted this heartfelt note of thanks. Ironically, on this eve of a day for Thanks, I desperately long to be back at that place. The place where I'm sincerely grateful for what I've accomplished and what I can still accomplish, and for all of those who have helped me along the way. But lately, I've felt blah. Blase. I feel ungrateful, and then I defend that feeling by telling my self I can wallow in my own self pitty if I want to. In spite of the fact, that nothing really bad has happened. Although, lots of small things have happened that I wish hand't. And on an intellectual level I know I have so much to be thankful for, but I don't feel like it. Yet I'm still truly thankful to everyone I mentioned in that letter and I have so many more people to be thankful for than I did two years ago.

Why am I writing this? Am I not afraid people will think I'm some kind of self-centered punk? Of course, I am, but I hope that by saying it out loud, I can get past it. Because as I'm writing this, I realize the problem is I don't have the kind of hope I had two years ago, and that makes it hard to be grateful.

There is one thing I am truly thankful for. My beautiful baby is healthy, and that is worth a lot. Don't get me wrong I'm thankful for my family, but I truly grateful that my daughter is healthy. I've seen so many posts about parents with sick kids, and about kids with cancer and my daughter is the best thing in my life. I can't imagine if having to watch her suffer or worrying I would lose my baby. Every time I see her smile I thank God my baby is healthy.