Thursday, November 22, 2018

Dear Mom # 4

Hi Mom,

It's been a long day. I blame you for at least part of this. Everyone is upset because you're not here, and grandma basically refused to leave her house today.
I slept half the day and ate the half the day.
I had a long talk with Step Psycho this morning. He's not that psycho. The moniker doesn't really fit anymore.
Turns out SG is just a trouble making internet troll and I think everyone is going to be okay. I think.
Step psycho feels it's time for him to move on. It's really soon, but he also doesn't really want to move on. He just doesn't want to be sad anymore.
But if we're being honest, that's why SG evoked such strong emotions from everyone. Half of us were ready to move on, and the other half were still waiting for you to come back. Stripper Girl was a clear indication that isn't happening.
I'm not ready to move on.
Every day this week has been hell in a way I didn't anticipate since I haven't gone home for Thanksgiving in so long.
But he's right.
I started looking for travel packages to Ireland. I'm taking your hair. I'm torn between burying it somewhere in Dublin and finding a drunk college boy at a bar to wear it, so you can have a guy young enough to be your son too. I'll figure it out, and Sheila may come. I'm not sure because my family will come and I know you and Sheila usually traveled alone. I kind of wish I could go alone with her, and maybe Tasha but I can't see Emil letting me leave the country without him.
When I started this letter, I expected to apologize for not coming home for Thanksgiving. I'm not sorry. My life is here, and so are my commitments. Coming for a weekend between Christmas and Thanksgiving was the best option.
I am sorry I didn't manage things and my own emotions well enough for the whole family to be together on those weekends though. And I'm sorry you're not here.

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