Insecure Writer's Support Group

The Insecure Writer's Support Group is a monthly bloghop to discuss writerly woes.

This month's question: What was your very first piece of writing as an aspiring writer? Where is it now? Collecting dust or has it been published?

Sigh. It was a high concept paranormal romance. It was so bad I didn't even attempt revision. I knew something was wrong with it. I had no idea what. As a thesis for my MFA program, I've rewritten it. Completely. The only thing that stayed the same was one character's name and part of his backstory. The heroine changed. The setting changed. The plot changed. Even the point of view changed.

 The manuscript I wrote next received 105 rejections and died on my hard drive. The third full length manuscript I wrote was picked up by an imprint of Harlequin. And here is were the insecurity comes in. I haven't sold a book since then. I haven't really queried since then either. But wow. It's depressing.

What was your first piece of writing as an aspiring writer? What happened to it?

IWSG: Getting It Done

IWSG couldn't have come at a better time this month. I need to finish a novel. Today. I wanted to have it done yesterday. And as with any novel there comes the questions of the unknown. Will it sell? Will it get horrible reviews?
But I think today I would settle for just getting the book done. I haven't published anything since 2014. And I'm hoping to release a complete trilogy this fall starting with His First Lady, a book about a marriage of convenience between a Presidential candidate and a grad student who happens to be a Senator's daughter. But I want to have the second book written before I release the first so that I can release within a month of each other then release the third a month later. My goal is to release August 15, September 15, and October 15.

And speaking of releases--because writing a book isn't enough to do--what is the best way to launch now? Do you have suggestions?

What are you insecure about this month?

IWSG: Community

It's that time again. The insecure writer's support group. And the insecure writer is virtually any writer who ever lived. The support group gets one thing right. One thing that writers have really always had but have today in abundance. The keyword here is "group."

Rejection comes. It's part of life, or at least it's part of writing. Failure comes. It's part of life, or at least it's part of writing. But there isn't a stronger community than this one.
I posted some goals in January. I'm not close to meeting most of them. I struggle every day and do what I can. But since I've started blogging again, I'm more optimistic. I feel more connected. My words reach very few. I'm aware of that. But last week, I was reading blogs and commenting. And I came across this blog. The blogger wanted to write for woman's world, but it was new to her. She hadn't heard of it before. She linked to my writing for woman's world series as being especially helpful. And I realized that is what this is all about. She stumbled across my blog one day and found an opportunity she didn't know about. In time, I came across her blog and found that my words had inspired someone. And that is what this is all about, right? So I'll keep chugging away. I will write word after word. It took Leo twenty-five years to get his Oscar, and maybe in that amount of time I'll have my million dollar deal. But until then, I have this community to "lean in" to. We all have this community, and there isn't a stronger one out there. There is no other community in the world where your competitor offers to package your product for free, or you can email a total stranger asking for specific--and maybe time consuming--advice and fully expect and most likely get an answer. A bestseller once called me to discuss marketing strategies for my books. I offered to pay her since she offers coaching services. She told me I didn't need a coach. She said you just need to feel empowered, and I can't give you that. To put this in perspective, it would be like Mark Zuckerberg calling my engineer husband and offering him career advice.

If you're not where you want to be yet, you probably still have things to learn. That's okay. We all do. But you have a community of people who are usually willing to help you with that. Reach out. Lean in. Stay connected. What have you got to lose?

IWSG 2016 #2

It's hard to believe it's been a month since IWSG. But it has.

A month ago, I told you about how in 2013 it seemed like my career was about to take off and instead it plummeted. I'm about halfway through a round of revision on my thesis novel. I've added 3000 words and I'm still 14,237 short of 75k. Blah.

So I'm looking for places to add words.

When I finish this round of revision, I'm going to revise a YA I wrote a couple of years ago and find 10 small presses to query. I do not want to self publish YA anymore. Adult romance, yes. YA, no. Does anyone know of a small press with good distribution?

I'm also supposed to be submitting to woman's world monthly as one of my goals. But I don't have a story idea. I think this month if my insecurity were to be summed up in one word it would be this: Production.

Do you know of a good small press? Any short romance ideas you can lend me for my woman's world goal? What is your insecurity?

ISWG: Making It Count

The Insecure Writers Support Group is hosted by Alex Cauvanaugh.

I am insecure today. I'm not doing nano, but I have set some goals for November. I'm afraid I won't get through the list. But my bigger fear is that I do get through the list. I do get through another round of edits on my novel. I do write Dhamir(which I've already attempted and failed once). Then I read what I've written or what I've edited, and it sucks. It's back to square one.

This fear is eating me alive, and then behind that fear is the knowledge that I struggle with anxiety. And getting nervous is only going to depress me which will make me more nervous which will destroy more focus which will mean I can't do anything right, which will lead to more anxiety, further depression, more axiesty, less focus. Truth: the mental state will cause the writing to suffer. All I can do is fight through and hope the writing is good enough. And hopefully I can do that. So here's to making November count.

What are your goals this month?

ISWG: Taking the Plunge & Some Thank Yous

I'm taking the plunge--kind of. Some people say it's a short story. Some people call it a novella. I call it Fate, and I'm taking a risk with it. It's a risk and it's not. But it's important to me, because the story behind the story is just as interesting with this one. A person who's opinion I really valued told me they could not get past page three of this story and would no longer be reading for me. I was ready to give up. When my husband found me crying over my computer, he took it and read the whole story in about twenty minutes. (Thank you, Emil).  He told me to find someone else to read it.

I posted I needed a CP on my blog and the next day Shelley at Stories in the Ordinary offered to read for me. One day later she e-mailed back saying she loved the story, and I should pursue it. I did. About half of my queries resulted in full requests. Super thanks Shelley. If you hadn't believed in me, I couldn't have. The first rounds of requests for revisions went well, but they resulted in more revisions and while I have some different changes I want to make, I'm not willing to change some things others would like me to.

Which leads me to a calculated risk. I'm self publishing it. An agent told me self publishing shorter work won't hurt my chances of getting an agent for longer work, and because it's short anywhere it gets published it will only be available as an e-book. It's already been professionally edited by Kelly Hashway, and that's another thank you. If it goes well, I may even consider self publishing novel length work in the future. If it doesn't, well, I'm not making any money or building a platform with it on my hard drive either.

And now a plea for help. Would any of you be willing to help me with a blog tour or a cover reveal or both?

D = Doctor Seuss & IWSG

The A-Z blogging challenge is being hosted by Tossing It Out. My A-Z selections are a Beth's Pick unless otherwise noted.

My D pick is Dr. Seuss. I didn't learn how to read with Dr. Seuss, but Dr. Seuss books were some of my favorites as a young child, and now that Emily is coming shortly it's what I'm building her library with. My absolute favorite: 

Not reading makes for an insecure kid, but millions of kids have learned to read from Dr. Seuss books. Too much reading leads to writing and there is no cure for the insecure writer, so all we can do is vent about it the first Wed. of every month. The Insecure Writers Support Group is hosted by Alex. 

And because there weren't enough images in this post: